Beliefs about our bodies
Most of us have negative beliefs about our bodies and/or the foods we eat. It is important to examine these beliefs and become more conscious of what we tell ourselves. Write down all your beliefs about food and/or your body. Write down anything that comes to you, even if it doesn’t make sense or seem connected. Keep writing, the more the better. In making these beliefs more tangible, we are taking a most important step in our healing.
Having a beautiful body starts with following the natural flow of your energy. We have been taught to distrust our bodies and see them as needing to be controlled. Trust yourself. Sleep as much as you want. Stay in bed if you need more rest. Express yourself physically in ways that feel good. Eat what your body desires and follow your heart. If you are willing to trust your body, you’ll learn what’s best for you.
I trust my body.
Our body is our primary creation, the vehicle we have chosen to express us in the physical world. By looking at our bodies, listening to them, and feeling them, we can read a great deal about our spiritual, mental, and emotional energy patterns. The body is our primary feedback mechanism that can show us what is and isn’t working about our way of thinking, expressing, and living.
I’m learning from my body.
I always try to avoid putting myself down for the reflections I see. I know that nothing is negative. Everything is a gift that brings me to self-awareness — after all, I’m here to learn. If I were already perfect, I wouldn’t be here. Why should I get angry at myself when I see things I’ve been unconscious of? It would be like a first grader getting frustrated because she wasn’t in college yet. I try to maintain a compassionate attitude toward myself and my learning process. To the extent that I can do this, the learning process becomes fun and really quite interesting.
I’m here to learn.
I assume that everything in my life is my reflection, my creation; there are no accidents or events that are unrelated to me. If I see or feel something, if it has any impact on me, then my soul has attracted or created it to show me something. If it didn’t mirror some part of myself, I wouldn’t even be able to see it. All the people in my life are reflections of the various characters and energies that live inside of me.
Everything in my life is my reflection.
The physical world is our creation: we each create our own version of the world, our particular reality, our unique life experience. Because I am creating my life, I can look at my creation to get feedback about myself. Just as an artist looks at his latest creation to see what works well and what doesn’t, and thereby improves his skills, we can look at the ongoing masterwork of our lives to appreciate who we are and to recognize what we still need to learn.
My life is my creation.
For some people, being in a close, intense relationship with a person or persons of the same sex is the most powerful mirroring process they can find. I think many of these things are mysteries that we will understand only in retrospect, but I believe that every being chooses the life path and relationships that will help him or her to grow the fastest.
I do have a strong sense that, on a spiritual level, homosexual and bisexual relationships are a powerful step that some beings take to break through old, rigid roles and stereotypes to find their own truth. The core purpose in every relationship is for each of us to grow and evolve.
I accept and honor each person’s right to choose.
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Changes in a relationship sometimes leave us feeling guilty, disappointed, and hurt. We don’t know how to share our feelings effectively, so we respond by cutting off our connection with the other person. This causes real pain, because we are cutting off our own deep feelings. Changes can be less painful and even beautiful when we communicate honestly and trust ourselves in the process.
I approach change with honesty and trust in myself.
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When we don’t know how to allow the form of a relationship to change while still honoring the underlying love and connection, it causes pain in that relationship. When you are deeply involved with another being, that connection lasts forever. After you have learned a great deal from being with someone, the energy between you may eventually diminish to the point where you no longer need to interact on a personality level as much, or at all. Yet, the connection between your two spirits remains strong. Sometimes the energy renews itself again on another level.
It is natural and safe for my relationships to change form.
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Whether or not I am in a primary partnership at this time, I am always in a relationship with myself! It is important to make a commitment to myself — to love, honor, obey, and cherish my own being. To anyone I love, I promise to do the best I can to tell the truth, to share my feelings, to take responsibility for myself, to honor the connection I feel with that person, and to maintain that connection.
I am committed to myself.
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When I am willing to be honest, ask for what I want, and share my feelings openly, I always find that the underlying truth in any situation is the same for all concerned. At first, it may seem that I want one thing and the other person wants something else. If we both keep telling the truth as we feel it, sooner or later, we will discover that we both can have what we truly want. We can trust that the universe wants us to be happy and fulfilled. We tell ourselves the truth; we tell each other the truth. This is love.
The universe wants me to be happy and fulfilled.
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People often wonder what to do when they are involved in a monogamous relationship and find themselves attracted to someone else. Usually, when we block the energy and deny the attraction, we find that it becomes a bigger problem. It’s best to be honest with ourselves and our partner about our feelings. We need to look deeper within ourselves to see what it is that we are most attracted to in this other person. Perhaps it is a quality that is underdeveloped in ourselves and/or our primary relationship. The situation can strengthen our primary relationship if we are willing to learn from it and if we act with integrity. If necessary, get a facilitator to help.
I’m willing to learn and grow from every experience.
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We must be willing to let our relationships reveal themselves to us. If we are true to ourselves, expressing ourselves fully and honestly, the relationship will unfold in its own unique and fascinating way. You never know exactly where it will lead. It keeps changing its mood, flavor, and form from minute to minute, day to day, and year to year. At times it may take you closer to each other, at times it may take you further apart, but each stage in the relationship can be an adventure when we are trusting the universe.
My relationships are unfolding in unique and special ways.
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When you take care of yourself by asking clearly and directly for what you need, more often than not you do get what you ask for. If not, the next step is to let go. Go inside yourself and tune in to what your intuition is telling you to do next. Always let it take you to a deeper connection with yourself and the universe.
I ask for what I need and let go of the results.
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I’ve found a very interesting thing. When I communicate truthfully and directly, in a nonblaming, nonjudgmental way, and say everything I really want to say, it doesn’t seem to matter so much how the other person responds. They may not do exactly what I want, but I feel so clear and empowered from taking care of myself that it’s easier to let go of the result. If I keep being honest and vulnerable with my feelings to my partner, family, and friends, I won’t end up with hidden needs or resentments.
I’m learning to communicate honestly without blame and judgment.
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Passion disappears when we are no longer open to our feelings, when we sacrifice being true to ourselves in order to hold on to someone else. To experience passion, we must first be true to ourselves and then honest with others.
Passion in a partnership comes from true intimacy with each other. As we become an open channel for our feelings, we become an open channel for the passion and joy that can flow through us.
I am true to myself and honest with others.
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A relationship becomes stagnant when people are no longer willing to tell each other how they really feel. When people first fall in love, they are eager to communicate their feelings because they are still getting to know each other and dependency has not yet set in. As soon as it does, people often stop sharing their true feelings, or they begin to manipulate, fearing they might lose the relationship. To keep a relationship as fresh and alive as it was in the beginning, keep sharing your feelings directly even though it may be a little frightening to do so. Vulnerability and honesty are the keys to intimacy.
I share my feelings honestly with those I love.
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All beings have a deep yearning to merge with another being. When we feel mutual love and attraction with another person, we allow ourselves to merge energetically with them and experience that feeling of bliss. Then we need to separate again in order to reestablish our sense of our own identity. This is sometimes difficult, as we tend to hold on to that merged state, fearing that if we lose it we’ll never find it again and we’ll feel too alone. So we stay semi-merged and eventually feel resentful because we feel we have no personal space of our own. Sometimes we fight in order to create separation. We need to learn to separate cleanly and honestly by establishing our boundaries and taking the space we need. A good relationship is a constant dance of merging and separation.
I merge deeply and blissfully; I separate and take my own space clearly and easily.
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Be open to expressing a different form of sensuality than usual. This energy may lead you and your partner into simply sitting together, lying together, holding each other, massaging one another, dancing, or something else you don’t ordinarily think of as sex, but which can be just as satisfying. Be true to your feelings and the right actions will emerge.
If you don’t have a partner at this time, be creative in finding ways to express your sensuality individually or with a friend through dancing, massage, being in nature, or whatever inspires you.
I express my love and sensuality in many ways.
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If you want to make love and your partner doesn’t, or vice versa, support and express the feelings you have. Then try to really listen to your partner’s feelings. If possible, see if both of you can go under the surface and look for the deeper feelings involved.
It may be that you and your partner need to talk about some unexpressed hurt or anger. Or one of you may need some time alone. Keep supporting and expressing what you feel, so the energy may move freely.
It is safe for me to support and express my sexual feelings.
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